Plates

My parents’ stainless steel plates for every day (almost always South Indian) meals. 

The one on the left with the rim was my father’s. At the end of the meal he’d lift his plate and pour any fluid left over (rasam,sāmbār or the whey from yogurt) into his mouth. 

The one on the right, slightly deeper and rimless, was my mother’s. She’d run her right hand across the rim to scrape off any food sticking to it, and then scoop that residue up with her thumb into her smacking lips. 

I hated both “rituals with victuals” then. Now they are endearing memories of my parents. How time changes our perspectives. 

Delhi Rape Stats (Written in 2014)

Following the December 16 2012 gang rape of a 23-year old woman (whom I will not call Nirbhaya or Damini, names concocted to protect her identity),  Delhi was branded in the media as the Rape Capital.  Politicians, including one in whose official residence a rape had taken place several years ago (let me clarify that he was not involved), were quick to latch onto this epithet.  That particular crime was horrific, and quite naturally caused outrage among our citizenry.  The media trotted out shocking figures of the number of rapes that occur every day/month/year in Delhi.  

In analysing crime statistics (as opposed to a particular crime), especially those such as rape  which raise emotions, what ultimately matters is not absolute numbers, since a large city is more likely to have more crimes committed than a smaller city. So it is sobering to take into account the numbers per 100,000 population.   To understand these in the Indian context, here is a link to an article that informs us about various urban centres in India, and what their rates of rape are:
http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/blogs/blog-datadelve/article5071357.ece

The December 16 2012 crime remains imprinted in our memory, and has served as a catalyst for reforms in crime against women, rape in particular. One positive outcome was the reformulation of the law, under the sage advice of the commission headed by the retired CJI Justice Verma.   Another positive outcome is that the reporting of rape and the registering of cases of rape since then has increased several-fold. Here is the situation for the year gone by:

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/in-97--rape-cases-accused-known-to-victim-police-data-reveals/1213573/0

It is a gut-wrenching read, and one which hold many lessons for us as citizens who wish our city to be safer and more secure, specially for women.  But one thing that seems to come out is that the December 16 rape incident is NOT the typical rape that happens in our city.   Which is not to say that we can ignore it -- it should always remind us of the horror of the "gang rape" (a base act of utter cowardice).

The truth is ugly.    Rape clearly is a crime of violence, the sexual nature of which is not primary.  It is often committed opportunistically, but always seems to involve an exercise of power.  And very often a betrayal of trust, very often of minors, and very often by a family member or a  friend or acquaintance.   Also very revealing is the socio-economic profile of the victims. (The Indian Express December 31 2013  article had an accompanying table in the print version, which showed that the victims were primarily lower middle class women, and upper middle class women formed a miniscule fraction.  We should also perhaps be sensitive to caste/minority demographics, which weren't given.   There was however a table  regarding the ages of the victims and perpetrators, but with the < and > signs mixed up).

What the figures in the article above also reveal is a shade of grey:  In nearly 40% of the reported cases, the victim was in a consensual relationship with the accused (and in about half of those, the victim made the complaint after eloping or being in a live-in relationship with the accused)  A friend who works extensively with gender issues and violence against women in a variety of contexts also remarked that in her experience, many young women believe that if a consensual relationship does not progress towards marriage (betrayal of trust) then it constitutes rape.

There is another issue that bothered me with the debates in the media when the Justice Verma Commission report came out regarding victims of rape, and whether the crime should be called sexual assault or rape. Some very passionate gender activists and lawyers whom I respect categorically that it should be defined as a gender-specific violent crime against women, and it should be called rape.  

I agree that it is gender-specific, but not in that of the victim, but of the perpetrator -- who seems invariably to be male. Spare a thought for the numerous victims of a violent act, which in all respects is exactly the same as the new definition of rape, but who happen to be male, especially hapless minors. 

(c) Sanjiva Prasad 2014